Sloan's Slate

June 29th

Wins of "Mammoth" Proportion
Cicero, IL

The saying is "Throw everything at em', including the kitchen sink". Well the kitchen sink also included the bathtub, shower, and toilet bowl as the
Mammoths came out plumbing against the West Lawn Devils in game one. Once again the pitching proved to set the pace and the Mammoths continued to hit the ball and dropped a prehistoric loss on the Devils 11-1. The Devils just couldn't get it going on either end. The bats were missing and a few errors proved to be the extinction of them. Game 2 saw the Mammoths get it going again on both ends. The Devils did not let them off so easy, they battled through the innings, but in the end could not pull out the win and the Mammoths took two on the day with a 8-5 game two. Scout told me on this one - not a surprise, but also not as expected. The Mammoths are re-inventing the wheel, what's next discovering fire? As for the Devils, these losses put them in purgatory - strike up the Kingsford.


All "Natural"
South Holland, IL

Like the whole grain in a granola bar, it was all Natural(s). From the opening pitch, to the last swing of the bat, this 100% real, no preservatives added team swept the Royals like a janitor would a floor. The pitching posted two shutouts, and the bats just kept on swinging. End results 10-0 both games. The Royals tried to come out jousting, but ended up with too many errors and not enough hitting. Scout said on this one - Looks like The Naturals ate their Wheaties this week, as for the Royals it's the SSWBL Dungeon for another week.

 

Legend's Of/"Take the Fall"
Burr Ridge, IL

As they say, "The Buck Stops Here". For the Legend's it proved to be all of that $1.00 as their streak of being undefeated came to an end Sunday in game 2 against the Flyers. I myself had to see this match-up between two of the better teams in the League, but game one turned out to be a forfeit by the Flyers. With my extra time and money I saved on ink for the first game, I decided to take in a hot dog down the street at this local place called Sma's. Great place to eat, but now back to baseball. The second game proved to be worth the wait as the Flyers kept the pressure on the Legends causing them to make critical errors and play from behind. The hitting was just enough to get the runs across the plate, as both teams had a pitching duel most of the game. In the end, the Flyers put in the fireballer to shut them down 3-2, and the Legends coach takes a plunge as well as the team, by getting tossed out. For the Flyers, it proved to be a barnstorming effort from the forfeit. The Legends now show they are beatable, and had game one been played the "Fall" would have been a Plummet, with a broom out instead of just a dustpan.


Armageddon "it"
Oak Forest, IL

Like the giant asteroid threatens to destroy the earth, the Orbitz were jettisoned into space by the Intercon A's Sunday in both games. The A's came out again with huge bats and excellent pitching. Posting a shutout in game 1 7 -0 and pounding out hits that had G-Forces harder then a high-performance centrifuge used to train astronauts in game two 15-2. The Orbitz tried to recover from the gravitational pull, but with a few errors and weightlessness in the bats, re-entry proved to be too much of a mission for them. Scout said on this one - "Did want to close my eyes, Did want to fall asleep, Cause Id miss this game baby, And I would want to miss a thing". The A's seem to be the cream of the crop, even if it is corn and not soybeans in Momence. The Orbits need to turn the Shuttle around soon, or its mission could end up like the Challenger.

"Salty" Dogs not enough for Rattlers
Chicago, IL

Your parents always said "Say that again, and I'll wash your mouth out with Soap" well the Seadogs brought the language and got the cleaning they deserved at the hands of the Diamondbacks in both games Sunday. Game one saw a pitchers duel with the Diamondbacks putting their ace, who as "reliable as a Maytag” kept the Seadogs scoreless for 6 innings. Not to be outdone the Seadogs pitching kept the Diamondbacks in the hamper most of the game as well. In a close finish, the Diamondbacks pulled out a victory in game one 1-0, as the Seadogs began to bubble over like an overfilled washing machine. Some words were exchanged with the umpires and the Seadogs began to agitate the umpires like the second rinse of a spin cycle. Game 2 was no different, close and a pitchers duel, with both teams hanging in there like clothes on a line. The Seadogs got their bats going, but once again the Diamondbacks were able to soil the starched pitching and defense of the Seadogs and win the second game of the double-header 5-2. Scout said on this one - The Diamondbacks are "striking" their way back into the SSWBL pack. The Seadogs must wash and press the rest of their games, or they might be taken to the "cleaners".


Split it Down the Middle
Peotone, IL

Usually it's Cowboys vs. Indians, but this time a band of Pirates were the ones making the Indians take a loss. Game one had the Pirates making the Indians walk the plank to the tune of 7-2. The Pirates came out swashbuckling on their home ship with decent pitching and just enough runs to overtake the Indians. Game two proved to be fools gold though, as the Indians made the Pirates need the medicine man by scalping them 7-6 in extra innings. The Indians pitching, with timely hitting made the Pirates booty become lost treasure. Both teams could have used a little more help, with errors flying like arrows and players getting hooked like the Captain. Scout said on this one - The Pirates can plunder a win here and there, but not enough runs will leave them sitting on a "Dead Man's Chest". The Indians must continue to work as a tribe, but too many chiefs, leads to not enough wins.
 

June 22nd

A's Sweep Flyers Still Undefeated

Grant Park, IL-?

This proved to be a match-up of two of the better teams in the league. While finding the field in Grant Park might be like finding Grant's Tomb, The A’s defending Ash Division Champions; seem to have left off from last year rolling through the season with great pitching and nice hitting. A Green Acres meets Little House on the Prairie atmosphere, the A’s seem like the team to beat this year, and last year from what I was told from people around the field. The Flyers who have been in the playoffs the last few seasons and won it all in 2006 as I was told also are a good team. They came out hard but just didn’t have the pop in the bat this weekend, or the cork either. The pitching was solid as they tried like a ferret in a cage to get out the hole dug early in the games.

Legends Sweep Naturals - Still Undefeated

Thornton, IL-

These are two new teams as I was told and they both looked like solid players. Mullets were in, as were the bats for the Legends who slid by in the first game and came out rocking in the second. They seem to be another team to beat in the Ash Division, but are they the real deal yet? Some close games over the season from what I have been told could have gone either way as could have the first one this past weekend. My scout says the word is still out on them as their hairstylist. The Naturals came close in the first game and then errors proved to be the Judas, betraying the team in the second of a win. Boy, 30 pieces of silver goes a long way I guess, even with today’s economy. My scout says that they are definitely a team that can manufacture runs and play station to station baseball, but to keep competitive they will need to keep the knob on Hard Rock, not Talk Radio.  

Mammoths and Royals Do the Spilts

Burr Ridge, IL -

This match-up was between two teams looking for wins, like a junkie looking for his next fix –They got to have it. Game one proved to be an explosion of runs, like a meth lab gone bad the Mammoths came out swinging as well as the Royals, with each team taking the lead back and forth. In the end the Royals were crowned the victors by one run. Game two saw the Mammoths continue to put up the runs, beating the Royals by 7. My scout says if the Mammoths can produce these types of runs and keep the decent pitching going, they may come out of the ice age. They Royals showed promise and are always playing hard, the errors will be the difference between being a King in the SSWBL or a Jester.

Pirates and Orbitz in Space

Don’t know what happened here, but maybe the League should invest in Garmin or ask the Magic Eight Ball – answer unclear try again later.

Seadogs and Nuts Each Take One

Oak Forest, IL-

Both teams solid in their divisions respectively, they faced off in game one like teams on a mission. The Nuts anchored by firm pitching kept the bats going long enough to overtake the Seadogs by one run in the first game. The Seadogs not to be taken lightly came out in full force game two with huge hits and great pitching, while the Nuts struggled to crack the scorecard and the pitching was depleted. Scout there says if the Nuts can string together their team for both games they can be a cracker in the SSWBL or else it’s just a “Shell” game.  As for the Seadogs they seem to have the right breed in the doghouse, but the attitude and the result from it may put them in the SSWBL pound.

Diamondbacks Bring Out the Broom

Chicago, IL -

This double-header showed why baseball is an everyday game. Both teams had been off for weeks due to rain and it showed in the first game with more errors then a George Bush speech. But after the strategery implemented by both teams things seemed to get back to the normal baseball flow. The teams went back and forth like an Archie-Edith Bunker conversation. With the Diamondbacks starting to hit and field it was only a matter of time before the snakes started to bite. The Indians on the other hand were trying to get their motor running, but it seemed more like a Briggs and Stratton then a Tecumseh. In the end the Diamondbacks pulled away with big hits and the pitching came in the finish the rest. Both teams seemed to be missing players at some spots adding to the reasons, but there was a possible sighting of Luis Aparicio at second base for the Indians. He looked out of shape but still managed to make great plays, although by phone this could not be verified due to a power outage at the Venezuela Consulate because of a Donkey Cart hitting a pole downing a power line. Scout at the game says that the Diamondbacks have what it takes to be rattlers in the SSWBL, but need a full team and consistency or the season could slither away. The Indians have a good tribe and can come to compete at anytime, but they are in need of a pow-wow with each other or it could be the Fate of Custer for these Indians.